What Gives a Woman Worth?

What makes a woman worthy? Does God value a woman more for having children? No! God loves each person because God created us. That's right, just because we are. God made us and saw that it was very good. You don't earn value in God's eyes by having children.

Beyond that, Jesus said God blesses women for hearing his word and following it. Women are not more blessed for having children; they are more blessed for obeying God's call on their lives, based on their gifts from the Holy Spirit. Sometimes it means being at home for a season; often it means women in leadership roles outside the home. If you are wondering what makes you worthy of heaven or even worthy as a person on earth, remember that Jesus makes us worthy. Whoever recognizes God’s authority becomes an equal heir in God’s realm.

I struggled with infertility for several years and became angry that I couldn't have what others had so easily, that I had did not have the control over my life plans or the future that I had envisioned, and ultimatley I was embarrassed

here are some things people said that discouraged me:

When I looked for comfort in the Bible, some things it said that upset me:

I cannot imagine how terrible infertility was in Bible days when being unable to provide an heir was a legitimate reason for divorce. Only men could initiate divorce in those times, and it is quite possible that the Samaritan woman at the well was divorced by men five times because of being barren. I do not believe she was immoral, because the story shows that her community continued to respect her and listen to her. However, if she was like me, she would have avoided groups with many mothers and children because of the pain of exclusion.

In the midst of my struggles, I held onto the verse in Psalm 113:9 that says God nests the once barren woman at home - now a joyful mother with children. However, I no longer see this as a promise, but as an exclamation of joy. Some will remain childless. Some will not get the boy they wanted; even today sex-selective abortions in Ontario, Canada, mean that more boys than girls are born. Some will have a child who does not meet their hopes for perfect health or outstanding academic or athletic ability. Some will have a child who grows up to have a different orientation, interests or beliefs from their parents.

It is unhealthy to place our value as women on having children. Jesus valued us for more than having children. When a woman called out from the crowd to bless the womb that bore Jesus and the breasts at which he nursed, she reflected the idea that only the reproduction of a woman mattered. Jesus corrected her. He said, “On the contrary, blessed and happy are those who hear the word of God and continually observe it.” (Luke 11:27-28).

God values us for more than being a vessel to carry a child. We are more than a garden where men can plant their seed.

When Jesus was with Mary and Martha in Bethany, he told everyone that Mary made the right choice to be a disciple learning from him, rather than working on cooking and hospitality. Jesus used the Samaritan woman at the well to go and tell all the men and women of her village about him. People of all genders, including Mary the mother of Jesus, were among the hundred and twenty believers in Acts 1:14-15 and they were filled with the holy spirit and began to prophesy in Acts 2:17. Being a disciple like Mary of Bethany, a preacher like the Samaritan woman, and a prophet like Mary the mother of Jesus are ways that women were valued for more than their ability to have children.

Biblical women had many roles other than being a mother. Miriam was a prophet, Moses' mother was a wet nurse, and many women were midwives. Deborah was a Judge and a Military Leader, Esther was a lobbyist, Rahab was an innkeeper, Ruth was a gleaner/farmer, Abigail was a mediator, and Huldah was a prophet, teacher, and interpreter of scripture. Anna was a prophet and preacher, Lydia was a businesswoman, Phoebe was a deacon, benefactor and teacher, Damaris was an academic researcher, philosopher and speaker. Priscilla was a tentmaker, businesswoman, and evangelist, Junia was a patron and apostle.

From the very beginning, God's design was that all people, regardless of gender, be caretakers of animals and nature; God created both men and women in God's own image, and both are called to populate the earth (Genesis 1:26-28). Children are equally the responsibility of both genders. Work in society is equally the responsibility of both genders.

God did bless us with twins, after fertility treatement, and then with a third child, and we were thrilled to raise our three daughters. This struggle provided lasting empathy for those going through various types of trials or who are losing hope. When your prayers are not answered as expected, I encourage you to look at what other roles God may be calling you to do.

Elaine Ricker Kelly Author brings healing and hope, empowering women with historical fiction about women in the Bible and early church and Christian blogs about women in leadership, church history and doctrine. Her books include: