Giving Up Division for Lent: How to Love One Another
- Elaine R Kelly
- Apr 2
- 8 min read
Updated: Apr 12
During Lent, I've thought about how ecumenical Christians can cooperate, despite ongoing doctrinal differences. Since Lent is an ecumenical practice, observed by Christians of many traditions, This year during Lent, I have been pondering the divisions in our world and the potential unity of our foundation in Jesus. I've been looking at how ecumenical Christians can build unity for God's glory, and how they overcome divisions and love one another.
How To The World Will Know We Are Christians
By our love. Yes, Jesus tells his followers that others will know they follow him by how they show love. Ecumenical Christians observe their own tradition or denomination while cooperating with Christians of other traditions. Ecumenical Christians work together with a common purpose "that all may be one... so that the world may believe" (John 17:21). It starts with respecting other Christian traditions as valid.
First, we remember what we have in common:
- belief in Jesus as Lord
- a commitment to obeying Jesus's commands
Then we can build on fulfilling our common call as Christians:
love one another
love our neighbour/ love our enemy.
seek justice and overturn evil
Fulfilling our call in these ways is how we show we are Christians. These behaviours attract people to Christ and to become disciples of Christ..
1. Love One Another
What does it mean to Love One Another?
It seems exclusive. Why would the Bible tell brothers and sisters in Christ to love one another?
Maybe because in the world, people are tempted to lord it over one another. To place themselves in positions of privilege and authority and place others in subordinate or submissive positions.
But that's not the way of Jesus.
In God's realm, we are all equal heirs of salvation, equal heirs of God's grace and God's freedom.
Love is voluntary, reciprocal, and mutually respectful. Acting out of obedience is not acting out of love. Having no choice removes the ability to love.
Love is not bullying others. It is kindness, respect, listening, hearing, believing, helping, serving, deferring to the needs of others, showing compassion, taking care of others.
Love is not bullying yourself. It is expressing your needs, taking care of yourself, seeking help, avoiding harm, setting boundaries to protect your well-being.
When in a safe, trusting community like the one Jesus envisioned, you can become vulnerable without fear of judgement. You can serve without fear of being used. You can speak and not be ignored.
When you're in a loving community, you both give and receive love.
It was never about giving until you are spent or used up.
Joy comes from love being given and received freely and voluntarily, not from a duty or obligation.
Love is impossible when you are controlling and demanding.
Love is impossible when you are controlled and lack the freedom to choose to love.
The term "Love One Another" is a call for equality.
Sometimes you love, sometimes you are loved.
Sometimes you serve, sometimes you are served.
Sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow.
Sometimes your needs come first, sometimes you yield to the needs of another.
Jesus said to love one another as he loved us.
He loved us by serving, by washing the feet of his disciples. He also loved us by leading, teaching, and gathering followers. Loving like Jesus means both serving and leading.
The phrase "one another" occurs 100 times in the New Testament. It's a call to equality.
2. Love Your Enemy
Lately, I've thought about how ecumenical Christians share practices like Lent and work together despite differences. Sometimes Christians view other Christians as enemies.
Christians can love one another because it is reciprocal, both giving and receiving, both serving and leading. Love one another requires mutual respect. That's hard, with authority figures telling some of us to always be secondary.
Love your Enemies is even more difficult. We live in a divided world where people's beliefs are founded on diverse news and experiences. We will be destroyed if we keep giving love to a person or group who keeps taking, using, and abusing.
Turning the other cheek is counter-intuitive. But maybe it doesn't mean accepting abuse; it means not retaliating; leaving vengeance in God's hands. And getting to safety.
God is like a mother hen, sheltering us like baby chicks against harm and abuse.
How do you stand firm and react to harmful behaviours without stooping to the insults and bullying tactics they may use? How can Christians cooperate despite ongoing differences?
How do you love someone who:
is mean to you, calls you names?
discredits or slanders you?
silences or sidelines you?
places limitations on you?
does not recognize your faith as valid?
thinks you should not exist as a person?
Or that our nation should not exist?
Here are 3 suggestions to try to love your enemy.
1. Pursue understanding (but don't excuse, enable, endorse, or support their behaviours).
Loving an enemy means understanding they may hold harmful beliefs formed in a high-control religion. They may have been threatened if they did not support the male patriarchy. They may domineer others to mask their insecurities or low self-worth. They may have trauma or baggage that makes them irritable. They may not have worked through healing views of the Bible, faith, and spirituality.
Loving my enemy means being understanding, not enabling, endorsing, or supporting their worldview.
2. Practice compassion: Pray for them, empathize with them, and offer help, respect, and kindness (but separate yourself if they do not reciprocate your respect and kindness).
Loving my enemy means having compassion for the person filled with hate. It means empathizing with them if they are trying to obey God’s word.
Loving an enemy means telling them how their words and actions hurt others and are not obedient to Jesus. It means offering respect, kindness, and biblical scholarship on gender equality. It means praying for those who persecute you and giving them grace and space to consider a change. Separate from them as long as they show disrespect, insults, and unkindness.
3. Protect Yourself. When love is not shared mutually, you will need to protect yourself. Communicate clearly what actions or words are unacceptable. Loving my enemy means remaining calm and communicating clearly how their behaviour affects me and which actions are hurtful or unacceptable. Loving my enemy means attention to their actions, not insulting their character. Loving my enemy means using peaceful means of protest. It means no vengeance or retaliation but peaceful protests, sit-ins, marches, parades, spending and giving consistent with my values. Loving my enemy means setting parameters for reconciliation. Until their specific actions change and there is reciprocal respect, the consequences may be not working together, setting boundaries or limiting contact. Set boundaries and void harmful situations (but let them know under what conditions you can re-visit your relationship). Seek out help, support, and tools for healing and self-care. Then you can find the joy in loving your enemy.
3. Seek Justice and Overturn Evil
"Love as God Loves" means seeking justice.
God saw the unfaithfulness of the people and they tried to make it up with sacrifices. But God does not want our sacrifices- but our love. (Hoseah 6:6). Our love and empathy for others will lead us to seek justice for them.
God sees does not accept fasting while we exploit others, refusing to love. God wants the kind of fasting that lets go of injustice, unties the cords of the yoke, frees the oppressed, feeds the hungry, shelters the foreigner (Isaiah 58:3-7).
The Bible commands Christians is to seek justice. Those who obey the Bible can work together on our common call to seek justice.
Isaiah told a rebellious nation to learn to do right: seek justice, help the oppressed, defend the fatherless, advocate for the widow (Isaiah 1:17).
God requires we do justice, love kindness, walk humbly with God (Micah 6:8).
Do justice, deliver the oppressed, do not exploit or mistreat foreigners, widows, or fatherless children (Jeremiah 22:3).
Breaking the chains of male hierarchy is part of God's call for all Christians to work for justice.
Love as God Loves means being proactive, not Passive.
It's reaching out to others, not being passive in the face of injustice. Christians are called to serve as Jesus served. hat is being proactive, giving up privileges, and empowering others. Being passive in the face of injustice is being disobedient to God’s word.
Jesus tells his followers that authoritarian rule is not his way; in God’s realm those who serve will be honoured. “You know how Gentile rulers lord it over others, exercising authority. Not so with you.” (Matthew 20)
What kind of serving? Feed the hungry, welcome the foreigner, care for the sick, visit the oppressed.
“Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.” (Matthew 25:44-45)
Love, as God Loves, means Overturning Abuse
Jesus said,, "Love others as I have loved you". Jesus overturned the tables of the money changers, those exploiting the poor, and brought down the powerful (Matthew 21). Jesus lifted up the lowly (submissive women, the marginalized, powerless, LGBTQ+, immigrants).
Love is overturning abuse, bringing down the powerful and lifting the lowly.
Every valley shall be raised up, every mountain and hill made low. (Isaiah 40:4)
Mary sees Isaiah’s prophecy fulfilled in Jesus overturning hierarchies: God has brought down rulers from their thrones but lifted up the humble. (Luke 1:52) .
Christians debate whether peace, love, and social justice are goals spreading from the culture to the Church, or spreading from the Church to the world.
Evangelicals say social justice, peace, love come from the world. They see justice as condemning anyone who is not an Evangelical Christian. They promote a peace that comes from domineering and silencing opposition. They promote a love that tells harsh truths opposing acceptance, empathy, mercy, or compassion.
But justice, peace, love come from the Bible. Pursuing them is the Christian calling.
The Bible calls us to do justice, make peace, show loving kindness.
*Jesus said that God wants to grant justice to the exploited person when he told the parable of the persistent widow. The Bible says that in Christ, there are no more distinctions between Male and Female: we are all equal.
*Jesus commanded us to love the foreigner when he told the parable of the good Samaritan.
Jesus said God would judge our faithfulness by whether we fed the hungry, gave shelter to the homeless.
Jesus authorized women to teach men when he commissioned the women to tell the men that he had risen.
*Jesus told his followers that showing love is how the world will know we follow him.
The Bible repeatedly calls us to serve others, seek justice, deliver the oppressed, defend the fatherless, advocate for the widow, welcome the foreigner, and provide food, clothing, and shelter to those in need.
As we serve others, we serve God.
Action is how we show God's love.
Deeds demonstrate our faith.
God calls us to love actively.
God commands us to seek justice, overturn abuse, and advocate for the oppressed.
Conclusion
Evangelicals say people will come to God when they hear the word preached learn the consequences of sin. But the Bible sats people come to God when they see our love.
As I have pondered the biblical call to love during this Lenten season, I've realized 3 things:
"Love one another" can only be truly done in a mutually loving community where it is safe. Love is not being domineering. Love is not agreeing to be dominated.
"Love your Enemies" involves: pursuing understanding, practicing compassion, and protecting yourself.
Love is not passive. God calls us to love proactively: seek justice, overturn exploitation, and advocate for those who are persecuted.
Follow my YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/@ERK4Canada for more ideas about love, unity, and justice.
Elaine Ricker Kelly Author is empowering women with historical fiction about women in the Bible and early church and Christian blogs about women in leadership, church history and doctrine. Her books include:
Forgotten Followers from Broken to Bold, Book 1 (2022)
The Sword A Fun Way to Engage in Healthy Debate on What the Bible Says About a Woman's Role (2023)
Because She Was Called: from Broken to Bold, Book 2, A Novel of the Early Church, imagines Mary Magdalene's trip to testify before the emperor (2024)
Walk with Mara on Her Healing Journey: 21 Steps to Emotional Resilience (2024)
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